Home > Blog

… was a very, very, VERY busy day. We had a gathering of the Rocky Mountain Reef Club at our house! We woke up and *cleaned*. I scrubbed the toilets. I polished the faucets. I wiped off the counters. I did the dishes. People started arriving at 1:30pm. (Ben had advertised two o’clock.) I had just finished putting out the sodas when the tsunami of people flooded our house. Couples (in which the wife isn’t usually as gung-ho as the husband; I can relate), couples with kids, singles … we had twenty-eight in all!!! The talk, given by a guy named Andy, was about photography. Cool idea! It wasn’t as technical as I’ve liked, but that’s not unusual. We had people snapping away at our tank all afternoon.

Here are two of our starfish, Sandy and Sammy, who have been tangled in this ten-legged formation for TWO WEEKS! We don’t know if they’re mating or what. We know they’re still alive because we’ve seen them move. (At least the bottom one’s alive.)

And Chaco … he had a good time. A very good time. A fantastic time. At the beginning, two little girls watched me do some tricks with him and immediately asked if they could try. “Sure!” I exclaimed. Soon, they gave him treats when he did an “over”, a “leave it”, an “up”, a “sit”, a “down”, and a “shake”; they even “taught” him to catch a treat in the air. I started to worry that our poor puppy was going to barf all over the floor, he was given so many treats. It was adorable! Then, at the very end, a couple brought their one-and-a-half year old son, Aiden, and he liked doing stuff with Chaco, too. I had graduated to kibble at this point; no need to feed bacon strips when plain old kibble will do. I handed a piece to Aiden and said, “OK, now give it to Chaco!” and he looked at it and put it in his mouth. GROSS. After retrieving it, his mother showed him how to deliver the treat again, and we were met with success. Chaco LOVED the attention. =)

This is our firefish, Frannie, seen swimming above Sandy and Sammy:

Chaco, getting ready for his next round of bacon/popcorn/whatever else anybody decides he deserves:

After the crowds went home, Ben and I ate some pizza at our favorite pizza place and then I was off to a movie at the Backdoor Theater. I’d never been before. The theater is in an old elementary school cum community center, and it’s pretty nice! They’ve done a lot of renovations on it over the past two or so years. The sound is good, the seats are cushioned (which, I’m told, is one of the improvements), and there’s a real family atmosphere. That part was fun! The movie itself wasn’t so spectacular. We saw Sweeney Todd, a musical about a barber who, fifteen years prior, whose wife (supposedly) dies. The judge sends the barber away on a ship and adopts his baby daughter. The barber returns and strikes an odd partnership with Ms. Levitt, a meat pie baker. Then he murders all of the bad guys with his barber’s razor. In the end, the daughter gets away from her evil adoptive father. Mrs. Levitt is killed by the barber when he discovers his wife’s body in his pile ‘o bodies and he realizes that Mrs. Levitt lied to him about his wife dying. The barber is killed by a young man he and Mrs. Levitt pick up along the way. Oh, and Mrs. Levitt makes terrible pies — until she starts using human bodies. It’s a really dark film. The blood — and there was a lot of it — wasn’t even the worst part; the worse part was the absence of ANY kind of happiness in the movie. Oh well. Next week’s movie is Juno, which I’m looking forward to.

I finished my day by coming home, watching some figure skating on TV, and going to bed. I was exhausted. Maybe next time I won’t commit myself to watching a movie after entertaining thirty people all afternoon. I survived, however, and that feels good. May I have many more like it!

Whew.  I’m seven days into my treatment.  How has it gone?  Let me tell you …

It’s exhausting.  However, I feel good when I leave the chamber.  I get about half an hour of “normalness” before the tiredness sets in.   And the tiredness isn’t all that bad.  It’s physical, not mental, and let me tell you — that feels GREAT.  I’m sick of being mentally tired.

Today, I woke up feeing great!  I was wide awake.  Before driving to Boulder, I made ice cream with our new KitchenAid mixer attachment and mopped the “big room” floors.  I’m not convinced that this isn’t just a normal fluctuation, because I DO sometimes feel good, but … I’ll take it.  =)  It’s wonderful.  Unfortunately, I’m now feeling pretty sleepy from the HBOT.

I had another meeting with my nutritionist on Tuesday right after HBOT. You know how I said I was thrilled with her?  Not so much this time.  She talked (and talked, and talked …) about getting over the strokes.   She said it was just a “confidence issue.”  As in I’m worried about being tired while having a baby?  Well, that’s just a confidence issue.  I tried to argue, but I was exhausted from HBOT and it didn’t work.  I believe I have a real medical problem.  It’s not all in my head.  (Or, well, it is … but you know what I mean.)

It made me mad because I didn’t even ask for this “life coaching” stuff from her, and here she is telling me that it’s all in my head.  At $75 an hour.  :P  I just want to know what to eat and what vitamins to take.  Oh, and she told me not to eat chocolate on my crepes in the morning — too much sugar.  I’M EATING THE CHOCOLATE.  Good grief.  Does it help that it’s dark chocolate?  That I don’t use too much?  It tastes so good!  Oh well; some rules were meant to be broken, right?

Ben is returning from San Mateo shortly.   He left early Wednesday morning.  He took me to see “No Country for Old Men” on Tuesday night as a good-bye date.  “It got an 8.8 on IMDB!” he said.  “It’s going to be in the top 100 movies of all time.”  I rolled my eyes.  The last movie he took me to that had an 8.7 on IMDB was “300″.  It was worse than “300″.  Goodness gracious, was there a lot of blood.  To be fair, the acting was very good; it’s the rest of it that doesn’t measure up.  You got to see people getting killed in all sorts of creative ways.  I don’t recommend it.  Blecch.  =)

There’s a neat article on handmade bombs over at Wired. Enjoy!

I finished my quilt! It’s hanging in our bedroom on dowels stuck into PVC-pipe holders so that it doesn’t stick off the wall like it would with a curtain rod. Which, apparently, offends Ben’s sensitive aesthetics. ;) (I happen to prefer the curtain rod, but …)

It’s far from perfect. You can see some places on the right where it was so “off” that I had to overlap the border.  However, it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it would.  Actually, I kind of like it.  The imperfections are MINE.  It’s handmade.  I can deal with that.  =)

I actually set my alarm today!  I’ve been avoiding it because I have a lot of trouble falling asleep and I don’t want to watch the minutes tick by (or not tick by, as the case may be.)  I set it for 8:45am, which was very … early.  I wanted to get up in time to eat both breakfast and lunch before my hyperbaric treatment, but I quickly decided that wasn’t as necessary as I first thought.  After arising at 9:45am, I made crepes with strawberries and chocolate for breakfast (which is a pretty mean feat, if you ask me!).  Then I killed an hour waiting to drive down to Boulder to begin my hyperbaric oxygen treatments.

I was pretty nervous; I really want this to work.  I know that I’ll continue to improve, but I want to be better NOW.   It’s an unrealistic hope with brain injury, where improvements are measured over years instead of days, but I can always hope …

The chamber was really easy.  My ears cleared with no problems.  It’s MUCH easier to clear your ears in air than underwater!  That was a pleasant surprise.  I picked out a movie — “Chicken Run” — and watched that during my session.  (It’s good, by the way!)  The only problem I had was that the oxygen hoses kept coming off the (very fashionable) plastic “helmet” I wore.  I wondered why it was sinking in to my nose every time I inhaled, and then Ryan pointed out the tube challenge.  Overall, though, it was very smooth!  No complaints.

The best part was that for ~1/2 hour afterwards, I felt normal.  Oh my goodness, was that a spectacular feeling.   I was planning what I would do: teach?  Launch a study proving hyperbaric oxygen’s benefits to the medical community?  Start my own hyperbaric treatment center?  I haven’t had those thoughts since I can’t remember when!  I didn’t feel tired at all!  Ryan’s warnings about tiredness and my worries about driving home afterwards were unfounded.

After 30 minutes or so, I returned to my tired state.  Which I hate, but … my little reminder of how wonderful real life is was worth every penny I pay to do this treatment.  If I never feel another benefit from this treatment, I’ll still be satisfied.  That 30 minutes of “goodness” was like … I can’t think of words.  It was amazing.  My confidence returned.  I could have walked into a store and asked for a job application and not felt the need to mention the strokes.  (I shouldn’t mention them, but I want to.)  I was thinking about science, and I was confidant about it.  It felt so GOOD.

Now, I’m REALLY tired, which is good because it means I’ll be able to get to sleep.  (I hope!)

I wish that every day brings me a little more improvement.  Thank you all for your comments yesterday!

Howdy! Jake and Kate have a big announcement: they got new clothes! Kate got a package in the mail, from my sister, and inside was a beautiful new dress! Jake got jealous and begged me to make him a new shirt — ONE THAT ISN’T SO TIGHT THAT I CAN’T FEEL MY HANDS (those are his words) — and I caved in. It’s flannel, and it’s got gorillas/chimpanzees on it. It’s not perfectly crafted, but he’s a gorilla and he can deal with it. ALTHOUGH I REALLY WOULD LIKE ONE THAT ISN’T TOO SHORT. Thank you, Jake. Maybe Santa will bring you one next year, but for now, you’re stuck with what you’ve got. You’ve got a fine Red Sox t-shirt to wear if you don’t like the flannel. HHRRMPH. YOU LIKE GIRLS BETTER. YOU’RE PLAYING FAVORITES. You’re right, Jake. My favorite is the one who doesn’t whine all the time.

I’ve also made progress on my quilts! I’m putting the binding on my lodgepole pine quilt, and I’ve pieced together the quilt kit that Kimberly gave me for Christmas. Here it is:

I’ve got another appointment with my nutritionist today. My first one was awesome. She’s very knowledgeable about brain injury, and she didn’t scold me for not eating vegetables! She does, however, want me to eat breakfast, and soon after waking up. This will supposedly help balance my blood sugar and wake me up. She’d like me to eat more fat; 2% milk, things fried in butter, etc. I never expected THAT advice from a nutritionist! She also gave me a liquid omega-3 supplement to take with breakfast; that didn’t work out so well. It’s orange flavored and I figured it’d be fine. However, it’s not. It’s orange, but it’s not sweet. It’s also REALLY oily — which makes sense, considering it’s fish oil. I swallowed it and then promptly puked up my entire breakfast. I called her to complain, and she apologized and said she had some children’s pills I could try taking. I have trouble swallowing pills, so I’m thrilled with this idea. (I tried taking an omega-3, -6, and -9 pill after the first stroke, at Melissa’s recommendation. I bought some at Target, and when I opened up the bottle I saw that the pills were enormous. I also read that you’re supposed to take them three times a day. I decided I didn’t need the omega-complexes that badly.) So, in short, my nutritionist is wonderful and I’m glad I went to her. =)I’ve also discussed my Adderall problem with Dr. Stapleton. She was surprised to hear that it was so difficult to be off of it. You can’t develop a dependence on it, according to her. “Does that mean that my brain has recovered enough for it to make a difference?” I asked. “That’s certainly a possibility,” she responded. Cool beans! I don’t know what I think about it — I’ve heard from other people that they’ve had trouble getting off it as well — but for now, I’ll just roll with it. She also said that the HBOT should help with the tiredness, lack of initiative, and inability to concentrate. I hope so.

Thursday’s the start of my hyperbaric oxygen treatments. I’m anxious about it. I want them to work SO BADLY, and knowing that this is my last hope is frightening. Please, please work …

Hello, world!  This is just a short update to let you know I’m more coherent than my last entry led you to believe.  I re-read it today and the repeated words alone sent shivers down my spine.  I’m back on the Adderall, and have made a couple decisions regarding the SPECT scan, HBOT therapy, cognitive testing, yadda yadda that I’m hopeful will prevent the reappearance of my Adderall-withdrawal or “lack of Adderall” problem.  (I’m not sure which it is.  It’s not supposed to be addictive, so I think it’s the latter … but people get high on this stuff all the time, so I don’t know for sure.)

I’m not going to get the SPECT scans, I don’t think.  It’s such a pain to have to reschedule over and over again, which means rescheduling my HBOT therapy and weaning myself off the Adderall.  So that’s that.

I have an appointment with Melissa for cognitive testing next Wednesday.  I tried to reschedule that to this week (when it was originally scheduled for, but I’d be off the Adderall), but no luck; she’s booked solid.  “We do have an 8am slot open on Wednesday if you’re interested,” the scheduling lady informed me.  “No thanks,” I said politely, but I was laughing on the inside.  8am!?!?  For a cognitive testing session?  Not gonna happen.

And I scheduled HBOT to begin on Thursday of next week.

And tomorrow morning I’m meeting with a nutritionist.  My hope is not that she tells me to eat my vegetables, but that she can help me eat stuff that’s good for my brain.  We’ll see how it goes!