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Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

Interesting! I never would’ve predicted that my language skills would rank as “genius”, while my logical intelligence would be “below average”. Granted, it’s a wimpy five-minute test …

Today was my first day of “Water Aerobics” at Mapleton Center. I’ve been talking with Melissa about what activities I could do, and she recommended the Expand program at Boulder Recreation Center. Expand is for people with brain injuries (for which stroke qualifies). Unfortunately, though, my doctors have restricted me from doing many of the programs that I would really like to try, like gymnastics and rock climbing. :(

The leftover activities at the rec center are, alas, noisy, or at the crack of dawn. Snowshowing, for instance, sounds like a lot of fun, but it starts at 8:30 am. “That sounds like fun,” said Melissa.

“Are you crazy?” I replied. “There’s no way I could get out of bed and up to Eldora by 8:30!” Sadly, it’s true. Yesterday, I got up at noon. After going to bed at NINE. I forgot to take my Lunesta, and tossed and turned until three a.m. before I realized it. ARRGGH.

So, after carefully considering all my options, I decided to forget the Expand program and try water aerobics at Mapleton. I was concerned that I would be the youngest person by far, and let me tell you, I was right. Out of a class of twenty, there were exactly two people who didn’t have grey hair, and the other woman was about twice my age. Everybody else was about three times as old as I was. I felt really out of place. They were all so OLD! And FAT! (No offense, in case any of you ladies are reading this.)

Anyway, the workout was okay. I was sure plenty tired when I got home this afternoon. But I felt so out of place at this class … I mean, there’s nothing wrong with old people, but taking an exercise class with them?

Well, I haven’t crashed the car. Which is good :) Ben’s been gone since Sunday, so I’ve been home alone for a while. On Monday, I did … nothing. I was still exhausted. I’m over Ben’s cold, so that’s not the cause. I think, sadly, it’s my depression. :( I’m not sleeping that well in the mornings, and I think it’s just making me tired during the day. I tried to read, but it felt like it did right after my stroke … I couldn’t concentrate and I definitely couldn’t remember what I’d read. So, suck!

Yesterday I started to feel better, though! I went over to the high school to tutor math at 2:15. “Oh, you’re here!” Megan (the teacher I’m helping out) said. “I’m sorry. I told you seventh period, right? Hmmm … it’s right after exams, so I don’t know if anyone needs your help.” Fortunately, she found someone! In Earth Science! The assignment was pretty easy (solubility curves), so it didn’t take all period, which worked out great … I got to leave before all the kids did. Groups of kids still bother me … they shout and scream and make lots of noise, and it overwhelms me.

Then, I headed down to Boulder to go to the supermarket to pick up my new drugs and to the hospital, to visit one of the parishoners at our church. She’s SO nice, and it made me sad that she has to be in the hospital at all. She likes it, though … they come into her room and feed her Vicodin every four hours, and she said “It’s kind of like a hotel. I might stay a month!” :) (”If only you knew how much it costs,” I should’ve said!) However, I have to admit that I had much the same experience. Everybody at the hospital was so nice, and made me feel so comfortable, that I wouldn’t have minded staying longer, either. Get well soon!

My friend Alexis is getting married! She and her husband have put up a website, www.iloveaugust.com (August will be her new last name), where she also shares some details about her soon-to-arrive baby! I’m so happy for them!

I met Alexis when she was teaching gymnastics at the place I used to go in Pasadena. I suck at gymnastics; I spent the better part of my graduate student career trying to master a back handspring. I never did. It was fun, though! The trampoline was my favorite part. It was fun to watch the other participants in the class, too; some of them were very talented. And some weren’t. Ben came with me sometimes, and that was usually just hilarious (and sometimes frightening). We had cheerleaders come train with us, and divers, and even some bonafide gymnasts. Their tumbing routines (well, they didn’t do any routines, per se, but the tumbing passes they did across the floor) were *amazing*. :)

I’m exhausted. Completely, utterly exhausted. I’ve caught Ben’s cold, so I hope that’s causing my tiredness; that will go away. However, my lack of sleeping in in the morning is also a factor. I’ve reverted to my original dose of Zoloft, because I think it’s the depression causing me to wake up. The side effects suck, but I’ll put up with them until I can meet with Dr. Stapleton again. I REALLY hope I wake up again. It sucks to be this tired!

I’ve had a lot of therapy appointments this week. On Tuesday, I met with Melissa (speech) and Mark (my counselor), and yesterday I met with Karen (OT, or occupational therapy). I’ve haven’t done very well in them, I don’t think; of course, they NEVER tell you that you’re doing poorly, so who knows.

I haven’t done my homework. Well, I actually DID for Melissa; she gave me lists of categories (e.g. “Girls’ Names Beginning with S”) and I had to think of as many as I could in a minute. Some of them I did OK on, but names? Starting with S? I got “Samantha” and that was it. I gave the same categories to Ben, and he was able to name quite a few: Sarah, Sandra, Shelley, etc. “How’d you do that?” I asked. He explained his strategy: pair “S” up with vowels, like “Sa”, and then try and name names in that category. “Ohhh …” I said. “Why didn’t *I* think of that?” Melissa always asks me what I’ve read, and though I actually DID read for Tuesday’s session, I didn’t write a summary — which, I’m coming to discover, is problematic. I’m reading “Running with Scissors”, upon which the movie is based; I actually remember what I’ve read (at least relative to before), but explaining it is a whole ‘nother ballgame. I don’t know why, but my aphasia causes me to clam up; I CANNOT tell you what the book’s about. This is incredibly frustrating … I KNOW what it’s about, but summarizing it is SO difficult.

I’ve been tired lately; I haven’t been getting enough sleep; I’m waking up early. Why is this, you ask? It could be because I have to get up and do stuff in the morning, but if you ask me that’s a petty excuse. Catching a bus at 11 am is, indeed, important, but it doesn’t mean that I have to wake up at 8, for goodness’ sake. I suspect that depression is the culprit. Which sucks. Antidepressants are very good at un-depressing you, in my experience; however, the side effects SUCK. I really don’t want to start puking again, for instance. However, for the sake of my sleep, my therapy work, and Ben (poor Ben!), I think I’m going to have to try something else. Again. Sigh. :(

Anyway, yesterday I had an appointment with Karen — my last one, apparantly. “I CAN’T WRITE YET, THOUGH!!!” I protested. Karen said that she was sorry my handwriting hadn’t improved [enough], but that I need to practice every day, which I haven’t been doing. GRRR. But she also gave me a pre-driving evaluation, which I passed!!! Hooray! She gave me instructions not to drive when I’m tired or emotionaly wound up, but said that driving to and from therapy, for instance, would be OK. :) This is fantastic news to me – for one, it’s annoying to have people tell me that I shouldn’t drive, and two, taking is bus is growing tiring. I walked a mile yesterday to get from the bus stop to therapy and then from therapy to the hospital. A mile isn’t that much, but I haven’t exercised in almost a year, so right now it feels like climbing Everest.

This morning I had a meeting with Dr. Smith, my neurologist in Denver. I made it there without puking (yay!). It was, however, kind of a disappointing meeting. He examined me (the typical neuro exam; I passed with flying colors, once again) and he pronounced me fit as a fiddle. I didn’t say anything; thank goodness for Ben.

“She’s got an energy reserve 10% the size of yours or mine,” he said. “She looks good now, but she’ll go home and literally sit on the couch and watch TV for the rest of the afternoon. She’s very good at ‘fooling’ doctors and therapists she meets for an hour at a time.” At that point (thank you, depression!) I started to cry, but I was so grateful to Ben for speaking up. Dr. Smith said that I could stop the coumadin in March, which I was very happy about; however, he didn’t say anything about “closing the PFO may not solve your problem,” which I thought would be one of the main topics of our discussion. He scared Ben into thinking that was the case when he talked to him on the phone in October. [There was a snowstorm then, which is why I didn't get to go meet with him.] I pressed for more information.

“What about vasculitis?” I asked. He eventually said that vasculitis is very difficult to diagnose, and so basically he wouldn’t bother trying. This does not sound very reassuring. I was prepared to have him recommend a brain bioposy — not fun, for sure, but a heck of a lot safer. He did concede that I should have another MRI. If there’s any evidence of something “new” on the MRI (a stroke, but one that didn’t cause any noticable new symptoms), he’ll order an angiogram (when they stick a catheter up your leg to inject dye into your brain, then do an MRI), and then (I presume) a brain biopsy. I suspect that my initial MRI is going to turn out to be negative, though.

So, for now, I’m going to be very happy about the possibility of getting off coumadin, but also slighty nervous. Am I really all better?